H-O-T

I am hot. Not in the “ooh dang look at me” type of hot, but the OMG I am sweating like a pig on slaughter day hot. Gross. I just got back from working out and there has been person after person in the bathroom, which means I haven’t been able to change out of these grungy workout clothes yet and I AM HOT. It would be nice if I could workout and then just go home, rather than having to come back to the office all flushed face-makeup sweated off-hot-and kinda tired feeling. However, I think at this point in my ‘fitness schedule’, it’s more productive for me to go during work, because I am not ready to forsake my time at home with Erik and our dogs.

But I am hoping that I am eventually going to venture into working out on the weekends and walking the dogs when I get home during the work days. But I will be honest – I know it will take me awhile to get to that point. I am still a bit lazy, though I did feel guilty not working out last Friday when the Center was closed. (Which is a good thing)

I want to be the type of person that doesn’t think twice about walking to town, walking home from the bar, walking around the mall for hours...I guess walking anywhere in general because right now I don’t really feel comfortable doing it. It’s embarrassing...but I will call it another reason to be motivated. :)

Weight Post:
Again, this is what my ‘big blog’ topic was about. Hmm. I am self-obsessing maybe.

Random Post:
Gawwwwwd some people are fake! Oooh and look how cute our dog Bear is - whenever the heat is blowing out of the vent I always put out a pile of blankets and he snuggles up and lays right next to it. Not that our house is freezing, but he likes being hot. Seriously. When it's like 80 degrees he still finds his way under the covers to sleep at the small of my back. Aww :)

Stick with it!

Ugh. The weekends are never good for me. I know I would be losing even more weight if I would at least stick to my diet plan on the weekend. I am thinking I will designate ONE day to be my “F-off” day that I can eat what I want, without going into binge-overboard mode, rather than stretching it out over the course of Friday night, Saturday and all the way thru Sunday. Not good. So I am going to work on that this week. I am now doing 20 minutes on the treadmill plus my weight training...I know it doesn’t sound like much to many people, but when I started I was barely able to do 12 minutes...seriously. So it’s actually exciting. Each week I am ‘upping’ everything. I need to do more though, because today I didn’t do my squats between each weight activity and I feel a bit guilty. I did do one whole minute on the elliptical. That thing is a bitch!!! But it’s still going well, and I feel really good about it. Why was I such a stubborn dumb ass and refused to help myself in this way months...hell, years, ago? I don’t know. But there’s no time like the present! :)

Weight Post:
I think I talk about my diet/weight/exercise too much. It’s just hard, because I am focusing so hard on it that I can’t help but talk about it. However, I need to focus on my goals more during the weekend. I am not even 1/100th of the way to my goal but I know it will just take time and hardwork!

Random:
Erik’s sister is engaged. I am NOT excited, or happy, about it at all :(

Blaaaaah.

I am annoyed today. Why? Well, it’s actually a culmination of things...a short list would include:

• I feel like a sloppy little pig. Oink.
• People give me mis-information and I end up looking like the stupid one. Don’t pass the buck.
• Guys wearing black jeans. That is a don’t.
• Being talked down to. Ass.
• When our house guests eat all of our food. Ok, MY food. Because I am on a diet, and you aren’t. So don’t eat my stuff yo.
• No one reads or comments on my blog. Maybe I should tell more people about it...
• People copying others outfits/hairstyles/shoes/etc. the day after the other person wore it. It’s obvious, really it is.
• Unresponsive emails. Ugh.
• Exaggerators. Shut up.
• People keep talking to themselves CONSTANTLY. Shut it!
• Irresponsible pet owners. Selfish selfish selfish!!!
• My hair. Why won’t it magically be perfect and luxurious?
  

Weight Post:
I’ve lost about 20 pounds. But I need a new scale, as it could be wildly inaccurate. I am down a size, in some pants, and not in others. That can be added to my list of annoyances. However, I am still happy with my progress and plan to keep working towards my goal. I am so tired of being embarrassed of myself and the way I look, it is such a shitty feeling.

Random Post: I have bits and pieces of that “Don’t Trust Me” song (part of the lyrics are “Shuush girl, shut your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips”) running through my head, but have you noticed that during the chorus, when they say “She wants to touch me, she wants to love me, she’ll never leave me” that in between those sentences it sounds like Scooby Doo saying “Ruuu ruuu”? Listen to it next time. Hehe.

Miss you

Today is 13 years since my Dad passed away (ok, technically step-dad, but I never called him that) and I miss him. I miss him more than I can even explain. I don't really have much to say about it right now, except that he was the best man I've ever known and we were lucky to have him in our lives...plain and simple. I love you Dad and miss you always!

Maybe not every day...

Ok, so I lied. Maybe I won't get to posting every. single. day...but a majority of the week isn't so bad. So...I don’t feel like working out today. I am feeling pretty ‘blah’ about the whole diet and exercise thing today. I slacked Friday all the way to this morning. Geez. What’s my deal? I think this is the funk I get into every time I try to get back in shape – I lose a little bit of weight to the point that I feel good about it. I think I am looking better, it’s noticeable, etc. and then I see myself in the mirror and am disgusted. Then I fall off the wagon, I get bummed and don’t care. Or, I feel like losing a pant size is decent enough that I can eat like crap for 3 whole days. How dumb on my part. So I’m back, ready to get the hitch back in my giddy up (is that how the saying goes?) and am working out today to get re-motivated. As much as I don’t really want to go, I KNOW it will make me feel better and if I keep putting it off I will be in the same downward spiral I was in a month ago. I was hoping I wouldn't be self-sabotaging myself I am scared I am heading in that direction, which is why I'm headed to the gym to clear my mind of all cookie-cake-ice cream-mashed potatoes & butter induced thoughts and focusing on being HEALTHY!!!

Weight Post:
I need to get a scale that works. And start weighing myself. And I should probably take some “before” photos to compare to eventually because I don’t plan on ever being this fat again.

Random Post:
I cannot decide on what to do with this mop on my head. Do I chop it off? Cut it? Dye it? I have a plethora of choices and can’t make up my mind.

Camel Toe.

Erik and I drove around the lake looking at houses just for fun for almost 2 hours last night...we had such a great time! I love driving with him because I truly enjoy his company and it's such a relaxing thing to do together. Then we stopped at the store and bought the ingredients to make homemade pizza, stopped and put air in my tire, saw some random weird guy walking around and I made Erik get in the car and lock the door (seriously...this dude was a CREEPER) and then we looked at a boat and then came home. It was a great night! I did laundry while Erik made supper, and our homemade pizza was AWESOME! I've never had any that was that good, seriously.

Then we watched Man vs. Food. Have you seen that show? It's pure gluttony. It's almost sickening. But we watch it all the time and make fun of the host and his piggish ways, because, how could you not? The guy is paid to eat tremendous amounts of food all over the country. We have starving children everywhere, but lets pay a guy to eat 12 'hotter than hell wings' in 10 minutes. Wow. Priorities, ya know.

Weight Post:
So, on the subject of eating...I am in a size smaller jeans...yay! Granted, they are still a little bit tight and camel toe is a scary reality when you have on tight jeans, but I haven't experienced that. So hopefully it stays that way. I am super excited about it, (the smaller jeans, not the camel toe) but I am even more excited to continue with my workout routine and eating habits (which need to be more strict!!!) and I look forward to when these pants are too big :)

Random Post:
I have Britney Spears 'If U Seek Amy' stuck in my head! "Love me, hate me, say what you want about me..."

Going on Day 2!

Oooh 2 days in a row. Impressive, right?

Weight Post:
I had biscuits with honey for breakfast this morning. Oops. I didn't drink my shake for lunch. Oops. And I stopped doing the rower on the weight machine because I feel like my forearms are getting a weird muscle in them...GROSS.

Random Post:
I am loving this weather!!!

Publish Post